1 The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
4. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
6. A dog’s parents never visit.
7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
10. Dogs seldom outlive you.
11. Dogs can’t talk.
12. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
13. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
19. A dog won’t hold out on you to get a new car.
20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
22. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.
25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale’s or Neiman-Marcus.
26. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.
Drivel & Drool
Things That Really Bug Me
Companies that spend a jillion dollars on a web site, yet the programmers aren’t smart enough to strip spaces, periods, dashes etc. from phone and credit card numbers
George F. Bush
Piss ant Police departments that have so much time on their hands they do “safety” checks. Can I hear a big Bull Shit!
The Patriot Act – like its going to catch anything.
Names for employees, like “associates” and “partners” OR my new favorite From Sam’s Club – “coach”. What really bugs me most is the places that use these feel-good terms like Wal-Mart would sell their employees body parts to slave traders if it would add .01 to the quarterly income.
“Disrespected” athletes making 8 figure salaries.
Big Oil – I guess everyone saw that Exxon just made more money last quarter than ANY US company in history! I recently wrote about their blatant thievery and some douche bag commented that it was a supply issue – China- India and other palaver spewed out by the American Petroleum Institute. I said then – just wait for the quarterly report. If anyone thinks we got rid of all the fucking bandits and crooks when Enron and Worldcomm crashed you’re fooling yourself. American business is corruption on corruption. We can no longer entrust our well being to “free enterprise”. It doesn’t exist.
Wall Street – speaking of crooks. The Exxon quarter “disappointed” the MBAs, CPAs and CFUs and the stock went down. What a joke our financial system has become.
Alan Greenspan – he’s screwed up more times than George F. Bush II and no one seems to know.
Escalades – the ultimate prickmobile.