Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry & Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish & you feed him for a day; teach a person to use the Internet & he won’t bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky……….not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions of cows in America , but we haven’t got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants & terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration????
Take care………
